You know when things start to feel like they’re going really well and then we start to self sabotage them, it’s like we get so comfortable we can almost predict what is going to come next, that’s when we like to – for lack of words, fuck everything up. It’s because we’ve been lacking uncertainty. Which sounds crazy because it seems like our whole life is dedicated to finding certainty – finding our path, figuring out what we want to do for the rest of our lives and then doing that thing. But what happens when you find that thing. Now what?
Why does it seem like whoever has the happy relationship, the great job, the “dream life” always seem to be dying on the inside? Why does it seem like the couples we think are happy and have it all decide to start cheating on each other? From the outside looking in were shocked – can’t believe it happened but then we find out it was just a long time coming, we hear that it got boring and there was just no spark anymore. Why do these things happen? It’s like we’re never satisfied as human beings.
It’s because as much as we need certainty in our lives, we need uncertainty. We need to feel challenged and stimulated or else we get bored, and when we get bored we start looking to spice things up, we get desperate and start looking for them in the wrong places because it’s too scary and uncomfortable to talk about it with your partner or boss, whatever situation your in. You know what I mean, we’ll start going out more because you just never know what can happen, it’s exciting. Who will I run into tonight? Plus, having that alcohol blanket over you talking to new people makes it so much more fun, like you’ll say things you normally wouldn’t, you feel more confident, but as long as you know it’s a fake confidence thats the most important thing lmao.
We need uncertainty in our personal lives, in our relationships, careers. We need it to grow, to feel challenged or else we get bored and start falling back into our old bad habits. How many of you have started getting healthy feeling good and then all of a sudden you’re back to square one eating cold dominos out of the fridge with the door open at 7 AM after a night out (been there gf) So I like to tell myself that feeling this way is absolutely normal, our whole lives are basically dedicated to finding the balance between uncertainty and certainty, we have got to have both of these to fulfill our basic human needs. So don’t get down on yourself for acting out in ways that may not make you feel the best, it’s something we all do. I like to think of it like this, there is no way around the fact that drinking/partying makes you feel like shit. It sucks, because I get it, it’s fun but it makes us feel fucking useless. We do this because we’ve been lacking uncertainty in our lives!
So, start thinking about your dream life 5-10 years down the road. If you can say you wake up feeling absolutely fulfilled and loving every aspect of your life then you have nothing to work on, but if you can be honest with yourself and say you have things to work on, start deciding on when you want to feel like shit. You have the power to decide what days you feel hungover or what days you devote to Netflix and pizza. There’s nothing worse than being a hungover piece of shit and remembering all the stuff you have to do/get done. So start being specific with your “down time” that way you can actually go out and let loose and enjoy the days off.
As always, I’m here to help YOU figure out what ways you can start living your life feeling a little bit better than the day before. Here’s a few ways to make sure you can include some uncertainty in your life:
- Change up that workout routine. You won’t know if you hate hot yoga until you try it.
- Buy a new book.
- Try a new restaurant.
- Go to that new coffee shop you’ve been wanting to go to…alone.
- Change up the route you normally take your walk.
- Explore a new city.
What I’m trying to say is to fulfill our basic human needs we need both certainty and uncertainty. If we stay in our comfort zone too long we get bored and act out in not so great ways, if we have too much uncertainty we get anxious, short fused and start looking to attach ourselves to anything (or anyone lol) who can make us feel a bit more grounded. I’m still working on this every day, I’m typing this in a new coffee shop I’m at because I felt myself getting way too comfortable in my own apartment, like I have such a hard time getting out of the house.
Embrace that uncertainty.