I’m getting this one a lot and I’m putting off answering it tbh. I typically just told people it’s to get off on my own, teach english and explore this part of the world – which is definitely true but it goes a little bit deeper than that. After I graduated university I did exactly what you’re supposed to do. I got a corporate job lined up for the moment I was done, I moved to the big city (and by big city I mean like 350K LOL) and began my life in the cubicle. I absolutely loved my co-workers, if it wasn’t for them I probably wouldn’t have stayed as long as I did, it gave me confidence and I was excited that I got to start my life as an adult…HA.
Fast forward 6 months and I’m laying in my bed on Monday morning so hungover that I literally couldn’t EVEN. I remember laying there thinking is this going to be my life, wtf am I doing, there has GOT to be more to life than waiting to get drunk every weekend. I was tired of being tired. I remember going on Netflix and watching Tony Robbins “I am not your Guru” and was like ok this guy knows his shit. I started looking him up, which led me to Mimi Bouchard’s podcast – The Mimi Bee Show. This takes us to the best purchase of my life “The Success Principles” by Jack Canfield – which I highly recommend if you’re looking to gain some clarity on your life. After reading this book I was hooked…I started getting my hands on every single self help book there was…but I was honestly embarrassed. I didn’t want to tell anyone, not my boyfriend or my friends that my new found love was fucking self development, it sounded so lame. BUT it got to the point, I did NOT – could not, live this life anymore. I had to do something about it. I knew at the time that there was so much more out there I haven’t experienced, that I could actually do what I wanted for once, so I wrote a list of goals that included starting a blog and traveling the world.
But I couldn’t just quit my job and backpack (so not me, it literally gives me anxiety). I wanted to go somewhere that I could still make an income/have a routine, where no one knew me and just be alone. I have a twin, so literally since I was in the womb I’ve never been alone and I honestly found it uncomfortable. I was always doing what others wanted to do even when it wasn’t serving me or getting me any further in life. So I made this major decision to leave a boyfriend of 2.5 years, my entire friend group/family and pack up and leave. I have honestly never been more scared in my life, but I was also excited….leading up to me leaving was an effing disaster I partied way harder than I ever had before, I was literally destroying my important relationships because I was scared of what was going to happen when I left so I didn’t really handle that part too well lol but what can you do.
I’ve been here for 4 weeks and honestly feel refreshed. For the first time in my life I’m on my own terms, doing what I want to do when I want to. I’m focusing on what I feel is important and have gained so much clarity on myself and my future goals. I can’t wait to read this a year from now and see where I am. It’s like a little online journal that everyone can read (??)
I hope reading this makes you feel a little bit inspired to put yourself first. If people and relationships are meant to be, they will.